Splinter . . .

Yesterday I did something that I didn’t really want to do. Actually I did a lot of things I didn’t want to do. First I woke up. I woke up at 3:30 in the morning. My uncle died the day before. And while grief is hard, it is so much bigger than that when you have complicated family dynamics. I haven’t been sleeping well and the thought of waking up alone wasn’t pleasant but especially not so early. But when the time came I got up. I went on my long run as scheduled and I went to the soccer game. Was I at 100% at either of those things? Not at all but I went.

I had a rough couple of days prior and had come to another place of running. I have been spending time with Jesus and some amazing brothers and sisters for about a month now and like a switch, it was time to burn off. No reason other than its what I do. So I did something else I didn’t want to do. I texted two people who needed to know this. Keeping it to myself was a sure fire way to find myself isolated again and lying in the filth that I am on my own. After my soccer game one of them sent a text that said “we are out here at the land mowing, come out.” Now why would I do that? I am burning off. I am overheated, dehydrated and tired. I have homework that I have to get done today. But I went. Im not really sure how I ended up there but I did. No profound conversations, just people and worship music and I sat there.

But something else happened while I was there that I have carried with me into the next day. A splinter of sorts. I came out to the land with full soccer gear on and as I was sitting there I peeled it all off. Then I took off walking in the grass with no protection on my feet. I said no big deal, my feet are tough and went on just fine until I found a patch of grass with stickers in it. Immediately, both feet were penetrated with tiny little, painful stickers. Lesson number one- keep yourself properly protected. Walking without proper protection may not immediately prove to be harmful but you will eventually and probably sooner than later run into a patch of stickers waiting to eat you alive. This will happen even if you think you are tough! Ephesians 6:10-18 talks about putting on the full armor of God and that is what it takes to walk through each day of our lives, not just when we are planning on a battle. While this was a simple barefoot folly, it is a small practical reminder to me of how I often walk with God, trusting in my own strength and not using the tools and armor that he has given me.

So once I was through the patch of stickers I brushed off my feet and went on with what I was doing. I had no visible reminders of the patch of stickers. I put on the other shoes I had in my car and went about the tasks at hand. What I didn’t realize was that the tiny tip of one of the stickers was stuck in my tough foot! While I didn’t feel it all of the time, I couldn’t go too many steps without a shape poke. I came home and poked at the spot, used peroxide and did everything I could think of to get it out but it was too deep. With more steps came more pain. As a nurse I am imagining the festering of this dirty little thing in my foot ending up like some of the pus and infection filled abscesses I see in the emergency department. But I also see it as such a picture of my life. How often do we have “little sins” in our lives that we keep hidden in our shoes. That we sometimes can be seen limping and other times we walk straight so that no one will know. And frankly sometimes we become numb to the pain that is being caused. Maybe when we hear the verse that says confess your sins one to another (James 5:16) we think about the big ones. Maybe we don’t even confess these “little sins” as anything that matters at all and don’t confess them for what they really are, sins. These things that start out small can festers and grow into nasty infections that invade our bodies and our souls.

Finally early this morning I got into an uncomfortable position, with bright lights on and got help. I was able to finally get the splinter out and it was so small, my attempt to get a picture was a fail. It wasn’t even the size of the prong of a staple. Barely visible but caused pain with every step I took. Don’t underestimate the little sins and don’t overestimate your strength. Eventually you will be brought to your knees by doing this. Let God reach you with the little things to guide you out of the path of destruction.