In the Summer of 2018 I have traveled across the United States from San Diego, California to Raleigh, North Carolina. I then took the southern route stopping in Destin, Florida on my way back to Texas. This was followed by trips to Minnesota, Canada, Africa and in the very near future, I will end my summer of adventure with a job in Bethel, Alaska. All of my childhood dreams of traveling and flying in the planes like I saw flying over my high school are coming true. My life is one of fun, adventure, travel and all I could want.
I turned down a well paid job that looked good on paper because I believe in my dreams and my heart is for the adventure. Less than three minutes later I have an offer from a middle of nowhere Alaska hospital that will truly give me the Alaska life I want to experience. I couldn’t believe it was happening and honestly sometimes I still cant believe it and doubt that this is real life.
From the outside, everyone sees how amazing and grand of a life I get to live. I do get the questions about when I am going to settle down and find a man. But that is followed by excited discussions about the people and places that fill my life. How could I be anything but excited, ecstatic and fulfilled? I mean really. I have provided medical care to starving and very sick children in Africa. And I have worked with refugee children in San Diego, taking rest days at the beach. What more could I want?
Well . . .
I would love a family. A husband. Children. A mother. A father. But that may not be my reality. And that should be okay because I have a life of adventure that most people with those things don’t have. “You cant have it all,” right? So I smile and tell of grand adventures. But then I am alone. Driving my car, lying in bed. And its very real. The good that I have in my life somehow doesn’t numb the pain of what my heart so longs for.
I know I should be thankful and I am but my heart grieves. And that is okay.
No comments:
Post a Comment