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The health expo the day before my first half marathon- the Rock N Roll Marathon in Dallas, Texas. People were buzzing with excitement, loading up on the next big thing in running and fitness. I passed on most things but decided to treat myself to a couple of headbands since I actually use these and benefit from the amount of sweat they keep from this fat kids face.

I got the obligatory 13.1 headband to celebrate the upcoming accomplishment and I got this one because I thought it was a good representation of the past few months and how I had made a decision and did what it took to succeed. It is now a few weeks out from the hardest day of my life. I did cross the finish line and I did so in less than 3 hours. So technically I succeeded.

But now I look at that head band and I have to wonder, are these the words that are true to life? Should I edit it with a sharpie to say “And sometimes fail”? Yes we have to decide what we want and if we want it bad enough we have to commit to the process. For my half marathon it was getting up at 4:30 in the morning 2 to 3 days a week to start my day by pushing my body to do things it had never done. For my weight loss it was committing to a lifestyle change that meant I couldn’t have my DrPepper any time I wanted it. But A+B does not always equal C. At least in the traditional sense of the word. I set out to finish my Half Marathon in under 3 hours and while my phone reflected that my chip time didn’t. Doesn’t negate that I finished but technically I did not achieve my goal. The thing I decided and committed to do.  I did not succeed in that. I still accomplished far more than I could have ever done or imagined doing by making that decision but technically I failed. Yes I decided. I committed. But I did not succeed. I failed. And that is okay. I was changed by the decision. I was changed by the commitment.