Untitled

Look me in the eyes

Yes me

I am the homeless guy on the corner

I am the one talking to myself as I walk down the street

I am the one that makes you hold your kids close

But I am also the one giving you your change and the restaurant

I am your nurse providing care 

I am the business man you would never imagine

And I am the counselor that helped your loved one along

You see that is me

My mind doesn’t work right

Sometimes you don’t even know

But sometimes you do know 

And thats not who I want you to see

I am trying my best but sometimes its just too much.

Please hear that my mind might be broken

But I am not

Its just a little harder for me

To get through this day and that.

Sometimes things are bright and cheery and I am on top of the world

That is when you like to be with me

And that is when I like who I am

But with every day of life

I expect something different

I know that the higher I fly

The harder I fall

The time will come when I fall.

Its not because of something someone has done to me

Its not because of the choices I have made

Its just how my brain works

Can you take me this way?

I dont want you to fix me

I dont need an answer or solution

I just need to know you are my friend

And that when my world is a roller coaster

That leaves normalcy an empty hope

That you will just be there and not another thing that will fall apart.

Please hear me I do not want your answers

Or what I need to do

Dont you think that if that worked 

I would be fixed by now?

You say to think positively

Speak the truth and dont agree with the lies.

I know your heart is good

But study the biology

Some of this is out of my control.

I am trying

I really am

I know it may not seem like it to you 

But you dont see the battle I fight every day

Just to keep my head. 

Please understand

I know you cant get it and that you dont know what to say

I even know that it is scary.

Think about it-

If this is scary from where you are standing 

Its even more so

When you cant step away.

So when I walk away

And you think that I am not trying

Know that I am not just being selfish 

I just dont want you to see me like this

Because I know you just dont get it.

I live to see another day 

As do you.

My brain just works differently.

I am the girl with scars on her arms

The one who speaks to people you cant see.

I am also the guy who killed himself.

Selfish-they say

Why didnt he fight this?

I would like to see you walk a day in his shoes-

Then say you wouldnt consider the same.

Try every day for 25 years.

He didnt do this from being selfish

He didnt do this to hurt you

When you are tired you go to bed

When you are sick you stay in bed

When we fight these battles in our heads

We get tired too

Can you be so angry at us for needing rest?