Brown Paper Bag

In case you are wondering, God IS faithful!

I have seen this in huge ways many times in my life. Time and time again He has provided; He has saved me-from myself and others; He has broken the chains that have bound me in sin and shame. Pretty big stuff. 

But today i had the opportunity to see Gods hand in “the little stuff” which to me was far from little.

Over the years God has blessed me by putting people in my life, whether i knew it or not, to be His hands and feet. Today, one such person spoke to some of my deepest fears, doubts and insecurities and has no idea!

In this most recent season that I have embarked on I have had revelation of a number of fears that are based in experience but far from Gods truth. The fact is that i dont just fear failure but that the thought of or even minute risk of failure terrifies me to the point of being disabled. Under that fear are a variety of things like being alone, financial fears and a general fear that ITS ALL GOING TO FALL DOWN AROUND ME. You know that ever so inaccurate thought process that i somehow keep the planets in orbit?! 

And yet in the midst of that . . .

I found myself resting on a friends futon after a work week for the record book. I have two jobs right now (Remember the financial fear thing?) neither of which have allowed a nights sleep this week. So a friend that lives close to Job #2 let me rest to recover from Job #1 before starting my overnight shift at Job #2. Now please understand that she might look like an ordinary wife, mother and friend from a distance BUT she is arguably one of the most incredible women that i know. She seems to somehow flow naturally from a state of loving others. A trait that has yet to rub off on me . . .

I was getting ready after a nap that was far too short and filled with tossing a turning -frustrated in bed with an apparent inability to sleep despite an acute awareness of my position far beyond the state of exhaustion. I even forgot I was driving to her house within a few short minutes after discussing this with her and headed far down a road not leading to my local place of rest. But i digress!

I was greeted as I came downstairs with concerns of rest and nutrition. “Did you sleep well? Get enough rest?” Which was quickly followed by “Can i fix you some food?” This of course was followed by being fixed a bowl of stew, cornbread and grapes. AND she sat with me at the table engaging through conversation into my world and heart. 

Then she did something huge! She grabbed a brown paper bag from the pantry and began to fill it with little baggies of grapes and cookies, with water and a soda. I didnt know what was happening at the time but as i walked out of the house carrying my brown paper bag and drove to work God showed me.

I was being taken care of. Often when we miss out on experiences in life it alters our ability to trust God to do those very things. I dont remember anyone ever making me a lunch and because I have always had to take care of myself in this way and many others, God used this to show me his heart. He did this through the beautiful heart of my friend. I am blessed and thankful.

This is all still a process but what a beautiful picture of what God wants me to see. This experience did something in my heart. Im not sure exactly what yet, but i am assured and comforted. Thank you Jesus! And thank you to my amazing friend!